I am in Love With My Best Friend's Girlfriend. What Should I do?
The predicament you find yourself in has been with us for ages. Too often, we hear a guy has fallen in love with his best friend's girl or ex-girlfriend. Problem is this kind of relationship end up in fiasco. Either you lose your best friend, the girl or both of them. Often, most guys realise the mess too late.
When I received your question, the first thing that came to mind was to warn you against such an affair. But a second thought provided another opinion. I will present both opinions, their merits and demerits and allow you to make a decision yourself.
Start by asking yourself these questions: How strong is your relationship with your best friend? How long have you been friends? How long have you known him? How does he treats his girl friend? Is he good to her? Do you think they are soul mates and willing to take their relationship to the next level? What about the girl? Does she know you have a 'soft spot' for her? Is she giving you any 'green lights' while still attached to your friend? Do you really love her or are you just infatuated and jealous about her relationship with your friend? Is it just a game you want to play? Is it just because she is close and available as a result of her attachment to your best friend? Why do you really want to be with her? Answers to these questions and many more will surely help you to reach an informed decision.
That said, let me present the two parallel opinions.
1. NEVER PURSUE YOUR BEST FRIEND'S GIRLFRIEND!: Yes, we think the grass is always greener on the other side of the ocean. Our friends always have the best girls! Well, maybe that's true, but remember never to pursue or fall in love with them. Friendship, as you may already know, has a number of unwritten rules. One of it is never to date our best friend's ex-girl friend. If you can't date his ex, don't even dream of dating his girl friend, period! When he finds out (and believe me he will, whether you succeeded or not)you will most likely
lose his friendship. Is he worth loosing this friendship? Remember friends will come and go. Chicks too will come and go easily. But best friends are hard to come by. If he has a status of a best friend, there is no need risking it. I don't think any girl is worth the loss of a best friend.
Also, there are more than four billion women in the world. Each man, irrespective of his looks and behaviour, should have at least one for himself. so, why not step out and look for yours instead of trying to grab one your friend already has? if you want a girl like the one your friend has, do a little more research and be serious and bold about it. Don't be a jerk. You know some animals are incapable of doing their own hunting, and live on the benevolence of others. Do you want to be like these animals? Get out and do your own hunting. Don't tell the world how much low self control or esteem you have.
2. YOU CAN PURSUE HER IF...
-What you have for her is actually love and not infatuation and if you don't only want to play games. Most often we find love in the most unlikely places. Tell her about it. If you love her truly and she also loves you, chances are she will find a way to be with you. If she gives you the 'green lights' and still wants to be with your friend, do understand she is also into a game and not the right girl for you and for your friend.
-Your friend does not really care about her, is a flirt and does not deserve her love, but you truly love her. Tell her about it.
However, note that this second option is dangerous and will always put you in trouble, as you run the risk of exchanging blows with your best friend or worst still, loosing him and the girl in question.
Our advice? Don't Ever Pursue Your Best Friend's Girl. Find your own girl. A little effort will enable you find the one you are looking for. She needs not be your best friend's girlfriend.